A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two-Ch#. 34 IIIAUTHOR NOTE: Apologies again for the recent issues with Chapter #33, the one where Ch# 32 and #33 were published within it. This should now be fixed so, if you still haven't done so already, please double-check you've read Chapter #33 before reading this #34 here.

For those who already unlocked the chapter, you may need to ‘sign out’ and sign back into your Good account or, if that doesn’t work, “Clear Cache”) for your local phone copy to be updated. Both of these options are found in the app’s ‘Profile’ tab -> “Settings”. However, keep in mind that Chapter #33 IS THERE, but you just needed to scroll down in order to read it. People unlocking it new from now on should only see the one chapter; #33.

Really sorry again that it happened. | was rushing to publish it that day and then | didn’t have the power to edit it once published. Unfortunately, G don’t work on weekends either. Thanks to everyone who commented to bring it to my attention. I'll do my best to ensure this doesn’t happen again. 1 “...What? ...What did you just say?” | instantly looked up at him, unsure if I'd even heard him right.

Because he didn’t just say what I thought he did... right? “I'm in love with you, Rae,” he repeated.

...No, he'd definitely just said it.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest.

“I want to spend every morning waking up next to you... every night kissing you until we fall asleep,” he continued. “I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh... | love the way you makefeel as if | matter. Not just because of my position or the mate bond, but because of me. Of who I am.” | felt frozen in place, unsure how to react.

Because | had strong feelings for him as well, of course I did. But... there was another thought in my head. More important than anything else.

Because did Kieran even love me? Truly? Or did he just love the girl I'd been pretending to be this whole time? I was unsure if he still would have said this toif he knew the truth. The whole truth.

...Including my dark past.

“...Kieran... I'm not, ah...,” | started.

How do | tell him I'm not as perfect as he probably thinks? ...That, up until recently, my day job was espionage and murder? “...I'm not... as great as | might seem,” | said slowly. “I've loved every moment spent with you, every single minute you've given me. In fact, | struggle to think about what my life would be like without you now. But... the truth is...” | shakily inhaled, forcing myself to do so since it felt as though | couldn't breathe. This was something I'd been putting off for so long now that | couldn't believe it was finally happening.

Everything was about to ccrashing down... but | didn’t want to lie anymore.

And so | closed my eyes for a second, accepting it had gone on long enough.

“The truth is... I'm not who | seem,” | finished, meeting his gaze again. It was hard to keep a strong face. “I'm not a good person. And... I'm sorry. Sorry for keeping it from you... for leading you on... I'm sorry for letting myself becso wrapped up in wanting to be with you that | selfishly ignored it.” “What...? | don’t understand what you mean.” “I mean... I've done truly horrific things, Kieran,” | said honestly, my eyes beginning to water with tears. “I was raised to handle the dirty side of my father’s business, no matter what that entailed. Sterling's death was just a reminder of how that side will always be a part of me.” “Don’t say that. Sterling tried to assault you. That doesn’t make you a bad person “-But Killing more people than | can count probably does though.” The words left my mouth too quickly to stop them... and they hung in the open between us.

“... You deserve better, Kieran. So much better,” | said quietly. “...Better than a rogue.

He held my gaze for a moment and it was the first tI'd ever seen such confliction in them. A look | never wanted to see. Not from him. Never from him.

“Rae...,” he started.

But then he sighed, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

...Rae, your past doesn’t matter to me,” he finished. “It never has. When | brought you here, | made a vow to keep you safe and protect you from those who wanted to hurt you. That included your father, someone who | had already assumed had you doing sshady stuff.” “But that past is still a core part of who | am. You can’t just... ignore it,” | said.

“Honestly? If the biggest issue we ever have to face publicly is just crimes your father forced you to do, then | think we'll be fine. No one in a right mind would blyou for that. In fact, if | had it my way, | would have already confronted that monster for what he did to you. The fact he’s still allowed to breathe... it boils my blood.

Just remembering the bruises. and silver suppressors are enough to pissoff every t| think about it.” “But | still did all those things,” | argued. “I... wanted to.” “No, Rae, you didn’t. You just wanted to please a man who only sees you as a weapon.” However, | only bit my tongue, trying to sort through the mess inside my head. | didn’t even know what | wanted. At what point can | say it was no longer ignorance but simply innate nature to do what | did? That I'd been dangerous even before my father had adopted me? ...I was never a good person and | had never even tried to be. Not before Kieran, at least.

Meeting him gavea reason to do better but... if we'd never met? | would have probably kept on serving my father unquestionably until the day one of us finally died.

Was that really the kind of woman Kieran wanted to be with? “Hey...,” he said gently, breakingfrom my thoughts. “All that matters tois who you are now. Who you want to So....

And he lightly touched my cheek, the warm sparks no longer feeling like a comfort right now.

“So... tellwhat you want, Rae... who you want to be. And | promise I'll accept whatever your decision is.” My breath caught in my throat, constricted with guilt.

“I...,” my voice trailed off.

He was an assignment. A person of interest to befriend for information.

Information relating to documents | had just located. From that perspective... | was done. | should have already left and returned back hto my father.

Mission success.

But... I'd had a glimpse of how good life could be with him now. How we were fated together and how this was sfantasy dream of savingfrom my old, terrible life. A prince raising a girl from the ashes to lead as his queen. A Luna. A’ happily ever after’ fairy tale.

...But I was no queen.

| was... a Raven. A harbinger of death... just as | had been named for.

There was no room here for a Rogue Luna.

And so | knew that, if | really did care for him as much as | thought I did, then perhaps the kindest thing | could do would be to leave. Because maybe the next t| brought trouble here, it would be far, far worse than simply an uncle who had it coming. That sometimes people are born as something they can’t undo. 2 “I... don’t know,” I finally said.

My heart was racing as | spoke, wanting nothing more than to tell him what he wanted to hear. But... I'd told myself | was done lying to him. And the truth was that | really didn’t know what to do... or who | was.

“I don’t know,” | repeated, firmer this time. “I'm sorry, Kieran.” And | wish | could have burned from my memory the way he then looked at me. A look of hurt and pain, and one that instantly madewant to remedy things.

“Ok... well, letknow when you figure it out,” he said. “I'll be waiting for you. | always will be. There is nothing you could do or say that would ever makefeel differently about you, Rae. Nothing.” But as | did my best to blink back tears, | knew it was words like that which only made this more difficult. He was deserving of a mate who could be what he needed. Not... whatever mistake | had been.1 Surely a paperwork error by their Goddess.

In the end though, those words of his were the last spoken about it for that night. The atmosphere was tense, my head was pulsing with a headache, and everything felt... wrong. And as the night cto a close, | felt myself breaking a little bit more as we slept separately. The first tin almost three weeks.

How quickly I'd becused to his warmth, to his touch. It was clear just how dependent on him I really was now. A dangerous thing for someone as conflicted as myself, where | wasn’t sure what the correct thing to do was.

...Was | truly deserving of someone like Kieran? Was it possible to change? 1 Or would | find myself slipping back into old habits one day, unable to distinguish between right and wrong in a moment of lapse? Though, his complete acceptance of my past did prove one thing tohowever; That he was a genuinely good person, through and through.

Something | would never be.

The next day, | awoke feeling alone.

With the bed empty, | was left to dwell in my own thoughts, the sheets feeling colder than | remembered them to be. 1: How was | meant to guarantee that | would never becthat person again? Did a way even exist to erase that part of me? To start fresh with no looming threats from my past? | wanted to be ‘Rae’ for Kieran’s sake, but what if that was also just a lie? And so | sighed, my head hurting once more.

Regardless of the confusion, | would need to make a decision sooner rather than later. Dragging this out was only going to hurt both of us. Clearly, he was just as determined to fix my past as he was to fix my wolf-shifting problems. But | wasn’t too sure if this could be fixed so easily.

“Still having troubles?” Allison said, catchingoff guard.

I'd wandered to the kitchen to grab breakfast, feeling in a daze as | did so. | hadn't even sensed her nearby.

“Oh... hi, Allison,” | said quietly, giving her a small smile.

But her head tilted in innocent confusion, her sweet nature showing through. 1 “What's wrong?” she asked. “Did something else happen?” “No, no, nothing to worry about... just. tired, | guess.” However, this apparently wasn’t good enough of an answer as she pressed for more details.

“...Is it to do with Kieran?” And | looked at her more attentively. ” How...?" “He looked strange when | saw him this morning,” she explained. “Maybe more tired than you.” Oh.

It paineda little to hear that. The last thing | wanted was to hurt him. All of this stress was because | was trying to avoid that very thing from happening one day, though far worse in the future, | was sure.

“I know what might cheer him up,” she said. “A little surprise to make him feel better.” | frowned. “I'm not sure that’s going to fix this, Allison. It's a bit... complicated.” But she just smiled brightly. “No, no, | promise, it'll be good. Plus, I'm sure you'll enjoy it too. There's no way you've never been curious about it.” “What...?"” Though, instead of answering, she merely held out her hand forto take.

Something that madeeye it warily after the last time.

“Con, Raven,” she said. “Please?” ... And | felt myself concede, grabbing her hand as she then led us through the packhouse.

“Where are we going?” | asked.

“To the archives,” she said. “It's a special restricted area of the library.” | was pretty sure I'd seen it before. There was a locked door at the back with a keypad and a guard. I'd assumed it had confidential documents inside, something I'd made a note of before Sterling had toldthe information | needed.

But why would Allison be takingthere? “Hello, Finn,” she said to the guard there today. “We would like to go into the archives, please.” The man looked down at her, puzzled by her request.

“Allison? Why do you need to go in there?” he asked. “You know the rules... ranked members and Elders only.” Though she simply pouted, undeterred.

“But Raven is ranked, she’s going to be our Luna one day,” she argued. “Why else would have Kieran told her to go grab him sthings from inside?” 2 And as Finn's eyes travelled over to me, | immediately shifted uncomfortably. This was definitely not something | wanted to deal with today.

“Why exactly do you need access?” he asked.

Why, indeed, was a good question. An answer to which | didn’t have since | was only a blind participant in all of this.

However, Allison really wanted to go in, adamant that this was all for a surprise for Kieran. And... | don’t know.

Perhaps it was because | didn’t have the heart to disappoint yet another Lycroft sibling today, but... | decided to go along with it.

“Kieran is busy this morning and askedto retrieve sdocuments for him,” I lied. “I'm really sorry for all the short notice but... would it be okay for us to quickly go in just this once... please?” He still didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know....” And | smiled at him as best as | could muster. “It would really mean a lot toafter all, I'd hate to drag Kieran away from his work just to call the way down here...."” That seemed to do it.

With a flustered reply, the guard named Finn got to work opening the archives and allowed Allison and I in. For which, 1 still wasn’t sure why we were even here.

Inside, the place was filled floor to ceiling with shelves of papers, books, documents, and a few valuable looking items. Seeing it now, it definitely looked like the kind of place that warranted a guard.

“Givea minute to find it,” Allison said, grabbing a book from the shelf.

And | left her to do her thing, walking around the room to explore instead. Most of the books were dusty from never being used. It seemed like no one really cin here, which made sense with its strict rules for access.

| scanned my eyes along the shelf in front of me, but | did find one thing slightly odd. One of the books had been moved recently. Unlike the others, the dust was disturbed around it.

A book with a familiar looking title that enticedto pick it up.

“Dammit, | can’t find it,” Allison said behindin defeat.

“What were you looking for?” | asked, turning back around to look at her.

“Well... | thought we could surprise Kieran by finding out which pack your family belonged to,” she said. “I don’t know if he ever told you this but...

most of the time, ranked members mate with other ranked members. Meaning your family might have been very influential at spoint. | thought I could find which pack they belonged to but... | can’t seem to find any record of ‘Raven Reid’ or ‘Reid And suddenly | had an overwhelming feeling to leave.

That this was a bad idea and | shouldn't have chere.

But....

But this was Allison. | needed to get over those feelings about her already.

Especially when things were already so rocky with Kieran. The last thing | needed was to upset him further.

“Oh, um... that probably won't work,” | said slowly. “I was adopted by humans, remember? ‘Raven Reid’ is just my adopted name.” Or, at least, my working name. Bestowed uponby my beloved father. Though it had been mostly a nicknat first, | becso used to being called his Raven that it wasn’t long before I'd cast my old naside entirely.

It sounded similar enough, | guess, and these days | wouldn't even turn around if someone shouted my birth non the street.

Though her face instantly perked back up at this. “Oh! | didn’t realise. Do you remember your old nthen?” ...And | wanted to vomit. A choking that slithered around my throat, tellingto stop.

A feeling | ignored.

“My name...?” | asked, my heart pounding.

Leave. | needed to leave.

Now.

But | didn’t.

And, instead, | introduced myself as someone | hadn't been in over sixteen years.

“My nis Rheyna...,” | said. “Rheyna Knight.”